Definitely been a while since I’ve blogged – besides just being a very busy season of my life, I think that I’ve allowed a lesser outlet to take the place of my blog. I put it that way because I only realized it tonight – that God has given me this desire to write and sometimes I feel the closest to Him when I write – and it’s like I’ve substituted challenging myself with this blog for the occasional revelation I can share via twitter in 40 words or less….as if that is somehow going to make me feel connected to God, or all me to use the gifts that He’s given me – the desire that He’s put in me to encourage and share what amazing things I experience with Him, and to hopefully be a light for someone else to find Him just as irresistible as I do. It’s like when I’m writing, He reveals things as my fingers are hitting the keyboard, and I walk away refreshed and renewed and enlightened. I pray that it doesn’t stop there – that others can experience the same through it – but ultimately, you just gotta do what God puts before you and let Him take care of the results, right?
Anyhow – I’m saying no to the quick fix of twitter and facebook to appease my desire, my God-given desire, to share what He is doing in my life. So, no offense to any of you frequent fbers or those that tweet to your hearts content, it’s just not enough for me anymore. 🙂 I want more of His revelation in my life than just a 5 second tweet and then I’m off and running.
It’s 11:30, & of course, I’m wide awake. God made me a night owl, and I’m never more awake and seemingly alive than when it’s dark outside, but I’m in a safe place. But so often, it’s not about my physical environment, but that sweet refuge that He offers, because there’s something about night that opens up my heart. I don’t know if its the same for most people, or women, should I say, but it just seems that I’m more in tune with my emotions at night. “In tune” is probably a gentle way of putting it – some may see it as emotional or overly sensitive. But I guess tonight, I can at least see the positive sides to it.
It’s at these times that I feel the most alive towards God – an intimacy with Him, as I’m acknowledging what I’m truly feeling – what my busy day has hidden from me and what now comes to the surface because I have no more energy to expend to try to hide it or push it down. And it’s in these times that His arms are wide open, beckoning me to come, sit back, and just be with Him.
I’ve run across an amazingly powerful worship song that I haven’t heard in years – it was one of the first songs I can remember listening to in High School, when I was seeking awkwardly and frailly (is that even a word?) after the Lord, and it was one of those songs that just spoke of the passion that I felt, and the commitment that I desired to have with the Lord. It is “I Surrender All” by Clay Crosse.
I couldn’t find another version of it online that you can listen except this one,
What is it about songs, about music, that just speaks to our souls? What is it about the gift of artists that can write lyrics that describe what you have never been able to put into words yourself, and you immediately know that if you could just sit down & talk with them for 5 minutes, you’d know that you could connect on such a deeper level than some of your closest friends…because they speak your language.
Anyways, so I’ve been having this really sweet time with the Lord, sitting in front of this laptop, listening to these old Clay Crosse songs, and just worshiping. It’s one of those times where you just feel so sensitive and open before the Lord, and you just know that He’s here, smiling and enjoying it as much as you are….I wish all days could be this fresh.
Ran across another song I haven’t heard in a while – not a CC original, and actually never heard him sing it before – so I found another version. Check it out when you have a minute to sit and really soak it in!
I Will Not Forget You
Anyways, hope you enjoy them as much as I did tonight!
May God grant you eyes to see Him, ears to hear His voice, a heart that is sensitive to His Spirit and that yearns for His presence, so that you never settle for anything less than Him, ever!
Till next time,